When a person chooses to reside in a sober living home, they are often looking for a safe place to stay for awhile. Likely, they don’t want to go back home, back to old friends and old routines, in fear that their lifestyle of drug use and drinking might return. Also, most people who reside at a sober living home have enough physical health, emotional stability, and psychological wellness to take care of themselves. In other words, they are healthy enough to focus on their sobriety.
In other words, a sober living home only provides a certain level of care. Sober living homes aren’t hospitals or treatment centers. Sober living homes typically do not offer formal treatment but often require or strongly encourage attendance to 12-step Alcoholic Anonymous meetings.
The National Institute of Health (NIH) defines a Sober Living Home as:
“alcohol and drug free living environments for individuals attempting to maintain abstinence from alcohol and drugs.”
Also, sober living homes serve as a lower cost option while a recovery addict eventually makes their way back home. They are a place where an individual is active in rebuilding their life. Sober living homes often require involvement in work, school, or an outpatient program and active participation in recovery meetings.
This is important to know because a sober living home will meet the needs of those who are prepared to begin their journey of recovery. And recovery can encompass different things for different people, including learning new coping tools, repairing relationships, finding employment, and building a support network. Truly, a person’s length of stay at a sober living home will depend upon their readiness to return to daily life again. Some experts recommend that a person stay at least 90 days. However, if a person hasn’t learned new coping skills or found employment, they may not yet be ready to leave. Although 90 days might be enough time for a person to prepare to return to daily life, some recovering addicts might find that they need more time.
For this reason, it’s important that recovering addicts work on the following during their stay at a sober living home:
- Look for employment. Often part of the downward spiral of addiction is the loss of a job or the inability to work due to physical, emotional, and psychological impairments. It can be an exciting opportunity to return to the workplace. This can be rewarding in many ways, including the chance for an individual to review his or her particular skills and the opportunity to feel a part of a community.
- Arrange housing. Sometimes, along with employment, the loss of a home was also a part of the damaging ride of addiction. It might have meant the loss of a marriage or the inability to pay the mortgage. Whatever the case, an individual might need to find a place to live after being a guest in a sober living house. Often, the schedule at sober living homes allows for the repairing of life, including finding a job and home.
- Mend relationships. Part of the recovery process is healing past relationships. Although the number one relationship to focus on is with oneself, other relationships with friends and family are part of this process. In fact, this is the 8th step of the 12-step program that invites that a person in recovery “makes a list of all persons we had harmed and become willing to make amends to them all”. The next step in the program furthers this with “make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
- Build a support network. Positive and healthy relationships are a key to maintaining sobriety. In fact, community is an essential component to recovery for many men and women. It’s the primary reason behind the recommendation to attend 90 meetings in 90 days for new recovering addicts. Doing so helps recovering addicts feel a part of a sober community. Other important people to involve in a support network might include a sponsor, therapist, coach, trusted friend, and spouse or significant other.
- Learn new coping tools. One of the primary reasons men and women turn to substances is because they don’t have the tools to manage stress or overwhelming emotions. However, tools for relaxation and coping with life’s demands can keep triggers and cravings at bay. Tools might include taking a bath, journaling, exercising, or talking to a therapist. It’s common for men and women in recovery to use a coping tool once per day to keep their level of stress and discomfort at a minimum. Mary Ellen Copeland, creator of the Wellness Recovery Action Plan, recommends having a daily maintenance plan. This is a plan for using certain tools on a daily basis to keep yourself well.
- Create financial stability. Sober living homes generally cost less than your average apartment because the costs are frequently split between all residences. Make a plan to take into account housing costs, your employment outlook, and how you plan to manage your money. Having a solid plan in this area can help avoid some potentially major career and financial stresses that may trigger cravings for drugs or alcohol.
- Create and follow a plan for physical health. Good nutrition and physical activity are imperative. They both contribute to an overall healthy body and mind, and they can help you manage your stress or boredom in a productive way.
A recent study done by the NIH found that those who transition from an drug and alcohol treatment directly back to their lives were much more likely to experience relapse. The study found that a sober living home serves as a bridge from total immersion in treatment to one’s life. Also, in 2010, the Journal of Substance Abuse Treatment published the results of an exhaustive study on former residents of sober living environments. Here, the research also found that those recovering individuals who stayed at a sober living house after drug treatment were significantly less likely to experience relapse, arrest, and homelessness. The most crucial element to their sobriety was the community of support found at sober living homes.
The best answer to the question above is that it depends upon the person. If they feel ready to leave a sober living home and they feel supported then a transition back to daily life might be in order. Remember that typically, a person is preparing for that transition throughout their time at a sober living home. And if needed, there is plenty of after-care support a recovery addict can access once they transition back home.